The CSB May 14, 2008

Well, I did it!!  On April 19th, I competed in the Combat Spouse Competition.  The 4th Brigade spouses joined together to become “soldiers for a day”.  We participated in the same testing that our husbands do as soldiers, including the physical fitness test (PT), Military Operations on Urban Terrain (MOUT), the Engagement Skills Trainer (EST), Litter Carry, Drill and Ceremony, and the Combat Infantryman’s Test (CIT).  It was a full day of work and training (not to mention the months of working out prior to the competition day). 

The day began with the PT test.  We completed all 3 of the components that the Army requires for its soldiers:  a 2 minute round of push-ups (full-on…not girlie), a 2 minute round of sit-ups (not crunches), and a timed 2-mile run.  I maxed out the pushups with a whopping 58  in 2 minutes!  Overall, I scored a 283 out of 300 and earned the Army Physical Fitness Badge.  Only 6 spouses competing that day achieved this goal.  And amazingly enough…it was pointed out…that 2 out of those 6 were chaplains’ wives!  My command spouse commented, “I thought chaplains’ wives were supposed to be sweet and soft.”  Not this wife…

After the PT test, we broke up into groups by battalion to complete the rest of the events.  Our first event was drill and ceremony where we were “trained” by an actual drill sargeant.  He even made us drop and do push-ups because we ”looked too happy.”

 

After drill and ceremony, our battalion moved to the MOUT exercise.  We camo-ed up and got our weapons ready to clear a building of hostiles.  My job was to clear the stairwell and keep it guarded.  I was pretty tough on the lady coming back from the bathroom. 

We also tried our hand at weapons qualifying using the EST, an indoor, electronic shooting range.  We took 2 tests, firing at targets at varying distances and then took a test firing in an actual scenario.  I think I did pretty well, all things considered.  You have to score a 23 to qualify … I scored a 17. 

The litter carry was probably one of the toughest things we did.  We had to low crawl, under the wire (which for us was streamers tied across a portion of the field), secure our wounded, and then low crawl him back to the helo-pad.  Let me tell you…that is not as easy as it sounds or looks.   I could not ever get the hang of keeping my rear-end down, not kicking the person behind me, and dragging the stretcher all at the same time.  

Last, we took the Combat Infantryman’s Test, a written test covering history of the brigade and each individual battalion, rank insignias, Army medals, historical Army dates, and a variety of other topics.  We had been given a study guide prior to test day, so I did pretty well on that, missing only one or two questions.  

Finally, each battalion competed against another in Tug O’ War in round robin fashion until one team was left standing.  Our battalion’s Team 3 took 3rd place!  After all the events were completed and scores tallied, we had a ceremony announcing the big winners…4-64 Armor battalion was the winner for the day. 

It was what happened during that ceremony though that will stick with me for a long, long time.  It just so happened that we were standing at the platform when 1700 hours came around.  As soon as the notes for “To the Colors” began, LTC Colls, the rear detachment commander for 4th Brigade called out, “Present Arms!”  Because we were still soldiers, we, alongside the rear-detachment soldiers who worked with us that day, saluted as the flag was lowered.  I cannot tell you how much pride I had not only for myself for what I had accomplished, but for my husband and for this new Army life.  After the flag was completely lowered and the last notes faded away, LTC Colls said this, “Today shows why we are not just Army, but why we are Army Strong!”  I was overwhelmed!  I finally felt like a real part of this Army Family. 

This Combat Spouse Day taught me a lot about the Army, our soldiers, my husband, and myself.  The Army is full of a prideful people…men and women who are proud to wear their uniforms, proud to salute their flag, and proud to defend our nation.  Among those men and women stands my husband, who has done so much  to follow God.  The physical training, the education, the Army protocols, and the service to our soldiers…I am overwhelmed with pride in him and with all that he has accomplished.  By participating in this Combat Spouse Day, I found a whole new respect for what all of our soldiers go through on a daily basis, whether they are deployed or at home.    I felt like in some small way, by participating and really trying very hard to do my best that I helped S, that I encouraged him on his long journey back home, that I let him know that what he is doing is important to me.  And I am no longer just his wife….I’m his Army Wife!

God Questions May 14, 2008

Several months ago, J began taking Tae Kwon Do lessons and because of that, I have made a wonderful Christian friend with whom I can struggle, question, and try to make sense of the things of God that we don’t understand.  We haven’t come up with any definitive answers, but we sure have had fun in the meantime. 

 

One such issue that came up, however, was not fun.  An old neighbor of hers from a different post was also re-located (or in military terms…PCSed) to Ft. Stewart, and her husband was subsequently deployed.  As many military families do, she prayed daily for her husband and his safety, for God’s protection on his life while he was gone to war.  A believing family, she trusted that God hears her prayers, that He answers prayers, and that He has a plan and purpose for her life as well as her husband’s.   Then one day, she had the visitors that all of us whose loved ones are deployed see in our nightmares and pray that we never meet face to face.  Her husband had been killed in Iraq from injuries sustained by an IED.   What followed, according to my friend, were days and nights of questioning, seeking to find answers to something that seemed so unanswerable.  I don’t know what has happened to this woman these past nine months, but I do know that God has been with her every step of the way even if she questioned Him and has yet to make sense of the whole situation.

 

Her story, though, has caused my friend and me to really examine what we know or think we know about God.  It has caused us to ask questions that are hard, that don’t always have answers or at least answers that we can fathom.  Questions like “If God is going to allow these things to happen, what’s the point of praying?”  “Why does God answer one person’s prayer request exactly the way it was requested (keeping my husband safe) and answer another person’s same request in a completely different way (allowing her husband to be killed by an IED)?”   “If God has a plan and a purpose for everyone…plans for a hope and a future, then why are some lives cut so tragically short?”   When parents lose a child, responses may include “God needed them in heaven” or “they have the best future possible now…they are spending eternity with Jesus” ….but what about that child’s parents…is that the best hope and future that God has to offer them…that they lose a child?  These are huge God questions…questions that anyone who has been touched by loss or grief or sadness or tragedy has asked…the eternal “Why do bad things happen to good people?” kind of questions.

 

In asking these questions, I have been doing the only thing I know to do.  I have been talking to God and reading His Word, trying to learn more and more about who He is so that I can know His character.  For me, the more I know His character, the more I will have peace in the face of unanswerable questions.  I may not ever know the answers, but I can at least know 1) that He is always with me…2) that God works in all things to accomplish His purpose…3) that nothing is impossible with God…and a variety of other truths about Him. 

 

What I did not expect in dealing with these God questions was to come across a book that so eloquently explains those very truths in a way that goes beyond the “it must have been God’s will” platitudes we often hear in the face of difficulties.    The Shack by William P. Young is a book about tragedy and its aftermath and sparks questions of God’s love, purpose, and plans for His children.   After reading this book, I have gained some perspective on the questions my friend and I have been asking.  There are specific conversations about fear of the future, where is God in tragedy, and why does He allow unspeakable things to happen to those He loves and who love Him.  Much of the dialogue dealing with these issues was so eye-opening and written so eloquently that it seemed silly that I hadn’t ever thought about things that way before.  

 

As wonderful as the book is, though,  I must share that it does contain some elements that are questionable as far as sound doctrine and theology are concerned; however, it is a WORK OF FICTION!  I want to emphasize that point because nothing can or should take the place of God’s Word.  If you read this book and have questions or problems with what is written, please go to Scripture and to God for guidance.  He has the ultimate answers.  While the book is very, very challenging and thought-provoking and even life-transforming, it is not Scripture and should not be taken as such. 

 

As for my friend, I have recommended that she read this book, too, and I look forward to our next round of discussions!  As for her friend who experienced great loss, please keep her in your prayers as well as the other families of service members who have given their lives for our country.