Sounds a bit crazy, huh? But this is something that I have been dealing with and pondering since last Christmas and just now feel that I have the words to write what is on my heart.
Every year, we receive Christmas greetings from friends far and near. I truly enjoy reading the greetings, seeing the pictures, and catching up with the people who have meant so much to us over the years. The hard part for me, though, is that these cards, letters, and pictures remind me of all that I have missed in the lives of our friends and families. One of my dearest college friends (and even bridesmaids in each other’s weddings) sent her firstborn son to college this year. I remember meeting him at the hospital when he was born. I have pictures of Scott and me holding him and playing with him when he was less than a year old. But I have missed everything else…their years as a family, sitting with her at their sons’ football games, and much more. I have another friend who has a daughter the same age as mine. I remember taking off work to go to the hospital when she was being born. I kept her through the summer as I waited for my own baby to come into the world. My friend and I were there for each other during some of the hardest days of our lives. I was the matron of honor at her wedding to a man who has loved her and taken care of her and her sweet baby girl. But I have missed everything else…the birth of her second daughter, the chance to work alongside my friend in her ministries at church, the opportunity to watch our daughters, who were such good “baby friends”, grow up together. I think of another sweet family, products of a youth group romance, who are expecting their second child, and I am sad because their babies will never really know how much we love their precious mommy and daddy. Even in my own family, I have missed so much…my nephew’s college graduation last week, my niece’s play, another nephew’s chance to be on the football team at his high school. I could go on…there are so many others who have come into my life whom I love …with whom I really wanted to share life. But God had different plans. He called our family to go, and so we have obeyed. I believe we are doing exactly what God wants us to be doing, and He is blessing us because of that. But I also believe that He is okay with the thoughts and ponderings of my heart. Ecclesiastes 3:4 tells me there is “a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance…” So I will spend a little time, as I open each card, mourning the time that I did not have with those who mean so much, but then I will dance and laugh and embrace and love all those that He has brought into my life over the years, for without His plan, my own Christmas list would be much, much shorter.
Merry Christmas Friends and Family! You are loved!
Choosing Life 
Recent Comments